A few years ago I watched a leadership team spend two days on an email thread trying to resolve a project conflict. Twenty messages. Six people copied. The conflict got worse with each reply.
I asked the team lead why nobody had picked up the phone.
“I don’t like to call and I wanted all communication to be in writing.”
Two days of escalating miscommunication — to avoid a ten-minute call.
This pattern is more common than most leaders realize.
Email is an integral part of professional life and will remain so regardless of what technology comes next. Most leaders deal with hundreds of emails a week. And with smartphones, we have access to it constantly — which means we check it more often than we should, and use it for more than it’s designed to handle.
The real problem is not the volume, but the misuse. Email has become the default tool for almost everything: urgent decisions, sensitive feedback, complex discussions, situations that require tone and nuance that written words can’t carry.
Every time email is the wrong tool for the job, it creates exactly what it was supposed to prevent: more confusion, more back-and-forth, more wasted time.
The principle worth internalizing:
If sending this email is more likely to create additional complexity than help everyone move toward resolution — use a different tool.
When email is the wrong tool
Email is intended for one-way communication most of the time and is not about immediate reaction or response, which means that email is not suitable for solving urgent matters or going into deep discussion over the issues.
When something needs back-and-forth discussion
Complex projects, decisions involving multiple people, where a discussion is required as opposed to just simply assigning a task; or situations where you need to do more than just convey your message – when you need to communicate complicated nuances, or “sell” the idea.
Meet in person or get on a call. Send a short email afterwards to confirm decisions, responsibilities and next steps. That email has a purpose. The discussion emails don’t.
When something needs to happen now
Usualy issues that requires urgent resolution. You can’t rely on someone checking their email in time, even if the person regularly checks his/her phone. Call them, use instant messenger or meet in person. This is the fastest way to reach this person and resolve the issue. Discuss all necessary details, make decisions, and solve the problem quickly.
When delivering critical feedback or difficult news
Delivering sensitive and difficult information such as critical feedback, expressing concerns about work performance, or terminating someone’s project or employment — always in person. In email your tone and words might be misinterpreted and also seen as insincere, too impersonal, or uncaring. Sit down with the person and discuss it. Remember, your motives are also important. Your goal is to help him/her become better at what they do, not just communicate feedback or humiliate them. Email can’t do that job.
When tone or words could be misread
It could be expressing your opinion, expressing your feelings or just the overall context of the situation, but any time there is a high potential for conflict or a conversation is likely to require a mixture of verbal and non-verbal communication, then email is not appropriate. It’s too easy for misinterpretation to occur.
When you’re canceling or running late
If you’re late for a meeting or plans change, just call the person. It will be professional and show respect for the other person. You’ll also have 100% assurance that they got the message and can adjust their plans accordingly.
When email is the right tool
Assigning or delegating tasks that don’t require discussion
When the task is clear, the responsibility is clear, and no back-and-forth is needed — email is the right tool. It creates a written record of what is necessary, how outcome looks like and by when, without pulling anyone into an unnecessary conversation.
Summarizing decisions and next steps after a call or meeting
This is where email earns its place. A short summary after a conversation confirms what was decided, who owns what, and what happens next. It closes the loop and gives everyone a reference point. The conversation happened first — the email follows it.
Sharing detailed or complex documentation
When someone needs complicated instructions, procedures, or detailed information in writing — after you’ve already discussed the context — email delivers it clearly and gives them something to return to. The discussion came first. The documentation supports it.
Email works well as a record and a handoff. It works poorly as a substitute for conversation.
Communication must be toward resolution and results
Email should not be used just for communication, but for so-called “purposeful communication” that leads to desired results and help us to progress toward achieving our most important goals.
One of our goals in using and managing email should be to keep conversations moving toward resolution and to do it as efficiently as possible, reducing the time we spend processing and replying to emails.
General Rule of Thumb: if sending this particular email is more likely to create additional complexity rather than helping you and the other people progress towards your highest priorities – then use other, more effective forms of communication.
The leadership signal underneath this
How you communicate tells your team something about how you lead.
A leader who uses email as main channel for difficult conversations signals that comfort matters more than clarity. A leader who picks up the phone when something is urgent signals that results matter more than convenience.
Your team is watching which one you are — not in the all-hands meeting, but in the moments when the easier option would be to type something and move on.
What’s the last conversation in your organization that should have been a call, but became twenty emails instead?
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