This morning I came across a post on LinkedIn about the five most common regrets people have before they die from Bronnie Ware’s work.
I paused on it longer than I expected.
Not because the content was new — I’d read it before. I even wrote about it years ago.
But the timing stopped me.
Last September, a friend of mine unexpectedly died. We were classmates. Successful businessman. Big good family. The last time we saw each other was in May — having a good conversation about the future, laughing together.
It’s May again now.
We already know life is short. We’ve always known. Still — many of us are working too much, focusing on unimportant things, and living our lives as if we will live forever.
We will all die one day. That is 100% guaranteed. I’m not writing this to create anxiety. I’m writing it because it’s the one fact that, when we actually think about it, has the power to reorder everything in life.
Martin Gore named Depeche Mode’s last album Memento Mori after losing their bandmate Andy Fletcher. He said: “the idea that we should all be making the most of our time on Earth and it’s very limited – it’s kind of an important message.”
Not a warning. A reminder.
Bronnie Ware spent years as a palliative care nurse, sitting with people in their final weeks. She documented what they wished they’d done differently. Five things came up again and again (from her article):
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
“This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.”
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard
“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
“Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved.”
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier
“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”
Why it matters
Two of those five I know from the inside.
“I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”
There were years when I told myself the pace was temporary. That it was necessary. That there would be time for everything else later. There wasn’t — not in the way I imagined. And the people closest to me paid part of that price too.
“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself.”
Earlier in my career, I built toward what success was supposed to look like — the right titles, the right companies, the trajectory that made sense to others. It took burning out twice to understand the difference between a life I was building and a life I was performing.
The illogical part — and this is what stays with me — is that most of us already know what we don’t want to regret. If I asked you right now, you could name two or three things in under a minute.
So why don’t we act on them?
Your action this week
1. Ask yourself two questions and reflect on them honestly
- What are the things you would not want to regret on your last day?
- Keeping your answers in mind — what do you need to change in your life to avoid those regrets?
2. Write your answers down. Make one concrete change to how the weeks ahead look. Plan the necessary changes into your schedule and life.
Don’t wait for a better day.
Cheers, Andrey Sergeyev
For short ideas on leading, living and scaling business with focus on what matters – follow me on Linkedin
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